But instead of lamenting my fear of growing up, I decided to take affirmative action with where my life is headed, so I'm devoting this post to a list of things I'd like to do before I'd die.
Please note that this list is provisional, and subject to change.
1. Be in a Britney Spears music video. (I know everyone says she's past her glory, but the classics never die)
2. Raise a lion cub (I might settle with just petting one, after I thought about how big lion poop probably is) so I can have a "Christian the lion" experience. If you haven't seen this on youtube, I highly recommend it. It changed my life.
3. Make a fat-free croissant and fat-free bacon. Or just live long enough to see it done.
4. Find evidence of a mysterious phenomenon (i.e. Bigfoot, Lochness monster, UFO etc.) and be published in the National Enquirer.
5. Eat at Beto's (your finest 24 hr. burrito supplier) and not regret it. Just once!
6. Make an ice sculpture like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
7. Become cultured enough that I no longer am entertained by low-budget and low IQ reality TV shows. They get me every time.
8. Come to be unashamed that I really love baked beans, carrot cake and corn bread.
9. Perfect the Angelina Jolie Sexy Scowl.
10. Yield more raw power than Oprah herself.
I know those are some pretty lofty goals, but at least I have 6 months before I really have to start thinking about them.
I wish I could say the same for Jordyn.